BE MY HERO

As I crawl under my covers I don't know what to say.
This day has been the epitomy of an emotional roller coaster.
And let's just say I wasn't screaming with joy on the steep drops.
I said things I didn't want to say.

It broke my heart (as it always does) to hear the sadness in your voice.
I want to fall into a hole and be swallowed in the emotion.
When you say you need alone time, I go a thousand different ways.
You should have alone time, goodness knows we all need it! But I am selfish, I don't want you to have alone time, because I need you so desperately right now, and this contradiction leaves me in a plight.

You tell me we will talk later. I am bitter and don't want to talk later. I want to ignore you when you try to get ahold of me. But I don't. I spend hours waiting desperately for a sign that you remember me.
The sign comes. I expect you to know exactly what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. But I know that's too much to ask.

Why don't you call me?! That is what I really want. Not just some stupid text. Let me know how much I really mean to you. I know I do. But I want to hear it from your lips, not your fingers.

How does someone go about comforting when they themselves are in need of comfort? How do I keep myself from allowing the poison of bitterness to sink into my soul?
I don't want to succumb to frustration, anger, and harsh words.
If I can't be there for you in your breakdown, how do you think I will have faith you will be there for me during mine?
The truth I don't want to admit, I will always have hope.
However, I always lose faith that I will have someone there for me when I am truly in need. And so far my theory has been proven correct.

PROVE ME WRONG. DO SOMETHING DRASTIC FOR MY SAKE. GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT. SHOW ME YOUR PAIN, BE THERE FOR MINE. I PROMISE IT WON'T BE IN VAIN.
BE MY HERO.