A Step Into the Unknown

There is so much to say.
I can't talk to you.
You are dealing with your own issues, you asked nicely to be left alone. I can't argue with that.
But as you have some of your own time to think, so do I. And I begin to get lost in these thoughts.
I wish I could make everything better for you. I wish I could blink my eyes and be there to hold you, be your hero.
Mostly I begin to wonder about the ever-nearing future. I worry about all the things I have never experienced before.
I have never lived completely on my own before, and I've certainly never been married before.
Will I be able to handle it?
Will I be able to keep up the apartment? Will I be able and willing to cook you dinner every night?
Will I know everything I must do and say? Will I be a good wife?
Can I work for more than a few months and not give up? Does this reflect on all aspects of life? Does this mean I will get sick of marriage and give up too?
I am scared I will be too weak and whiny.
I am scared a child will come before we are ready. I am scared we will not be able to pay the bills.
I am scared I will think everything I must go through to be married will be too much to handle, and I will run away.
I am scared I will let you down. I am scared there will be infidelities. I am scared one or the both of us will give up.
All I can do is move forward. I must take a step into the unknown. For all I know, I could find all this to be silly, and have the greatest happiness I have ever known. That shouldn't be hard to make a reality, considering I have you.